Wednesday, February 8, 2012


It's days like these I really wish someone could just walk right into my head and remove the thoughts it contains.
I've had the flu for about a week now. An eternity in my mind. An eternity of thoughts.
I feel so stuck. And lonely, nonetheless. I wish I had someone that would come to me, listen to every thought I had and actually understand them without feeling offended, sad or scared. That's usually the problem when I try to talk to someone. And that makes me feel so trapped. I don't want them to worry, but it's so tireing to keep it all in.

I haven't been to my shrink for a while now. And she wants to sign me out, she thinks I don't need it anymore. I think she's wrong. I'm not saying I'm not better than I was. I'm not saying I don't  have many happy and good days free of worry, sadness and an overload of negative thoughts. But they're still there. And when they come, I feel like a zombie. I don't laugh and I don't smile. I don't want to do anything. It's like nothing is worth anything.
And I feel small. I feel like I can't handle anything in life, like I haven't grown enough to take part in what I should take part in. It's like I'm empty, at the same time as I'm filled with all these thoughts I can't control..
And when days like this come, I have no idea how to get out of them...
This is a photo I took for a school project when I went to Media. It was taken at the last part of school, when I never showed up anymore because the social interraction was too much for me to handle. And I felt it explained my situation then, as it explains today.
"There is a big, bright world out there for me to explore, but the darkness and shadows of the past doesn't allow me to see it."



  1. så fin blogg du har! Liker antrekkene dine.

    1. Tusen takk! Du også! Elsker de duse fargene du bruker :)


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